thoughts on cooking + eating solo

my spouse is going out of town for a few days!

Apr 03, 2024

JUST FYI, I WILL BE GIVING PROCEEDS FROM TODAY’S NEWSLETTER + SUNDAY’S CLASS TO WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN.

THANKS FOR SUPPORTING MY WORK. IT HELPS ME SUPPORT ORGANIZATIONS LIKE WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN IN A BIGGER WAY THAN I CAN DO ON MY OWN.

IN POWERLIFTING NEWS…

Before I jump into everything this week, I wanted to let you know that the team who published my long-form essay about powerlifting also made a short video about me powerlifting + the queer barbell club I started at my gym a year ago!

»»»» You can watch it here! ««««

Also!! If you’d like to watch an edited version of the conversation I got to have with

Roxane Gay

and Michelle Buteau (!!!!), you can also watch that on Everand’s YouTube page!

**AS ALWAYS: IF THERE’S A CLASS(ES) YOU WANT TO JOIN AND $ IS A BARRIER, JUST LET ME KNOW AND WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT!**

Sunday April 7th / 2p - 3:30p EST: COOK ONCE, EAT MANY TIMES

**I’ll be giving proceeds from this class to World Central Kitchen**

Join me for this practical class we're well prep four simple dishes that can mixed-and-matched throughout the week. Tons of combination/repurposing ideas will be shared, plus cooking tips + tricks. If you feel like you're having trouble figuring out your weekly food needs, this class will be really helpful!! Go into your week feeling PREPARED!

We will be making:

Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Mustardy Pork Tenderloin
Marinated Lentil Salad
Lemony Kale

»»» SIGN UP HERE! «««

Saturday April 27th / noon - 2p EST: COOKING 101, PART 1 of 2

So you want to cook? Join me! I’ll show you the basics. In this two part live digital series over the course of one weekend, I'll cover how to make the dishes I think are most essential. In learning how to make them, you’ll be set to feed yourself and the people you love.

I’ll explain how each recipe can be riffed on so once you know how to make the basic thing, you’ll actually be equipped to make SO MANY THINGS. I’ll walk through every single step so not only will you leave with some great recipes and ideas for other dishes, but you’ll also take fundamental skills with you (like how to make a salad dressing, how to fry an egg, how to chop vegetables, how to break down a chicken, how to weigh your ingredients for baking, and so much more).

The first class will be 2 hours on Saturday, April 27th starting at NOON EST and the second will be 2 hours on Sunday, April 28th starting at 2p EST. You can take one or both!

Remember, as always, even if you can’t attend live, signing up means you’ll instantly get the class document and you’ll receive a video recording of the live class on the day it’s held. Hope to see you soon for this fun and informative weekend of cooking!

PART ONE ON SATURDAY WILL INCLUDE: Knife Skills / Salad Basics inc. Dressing / Soup / Eggs

We will prepare:

A Great Green Salad with Classic Vinaigrette
A Blended Dressing Formula
Simple Vegetable Soup
Eggs a Few Ways (Scrambled / Hard Boiled / Fried)

»»» SIGN UP HERE! «««

Sunday April 28th / 2p - 4p EST: COOKING 101, PART 2 of 2

See above for the description of this series!

PART TWO ON SUNDAY WILL INCLUDE: Chicken / Leafy Greens / Rice / Baking

In class, we will prepare:

Breaking Down a Chicken
Roasted Spiced Chicken + Sweet Potatoes
Garlicky Greens
Steamed Rice with Butter
Buttermilk + Olive Oil Cake

»»» SIGN UP HERE! «««

Grace, my other half, is headed out of town this weekend (this is a rare occurrence in our household—I’m usually the one who heads out on trips while Grace holds down the fort). I’m excited to spend the weekend with our menagerie of pets (see here + here). Anticipating the weekend also has me thinking about the idea of cooking and eating solo, something I did for many, many years before I met Grace, and something I get asked about a lot.

In fact, a couple of months ago,

Virginia Sole-Smith

asked me some questions about this for her ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Eating Alone’ installment of

Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith

. So today I’m sharing my extended answers to those questions here!

How often you eat alone (are you single, are you partnered but eat alone when they travel for work, etc.)?

I am married and Grace and I both work from home, but we often eat separately as Grace is more of a nosher than I am and I prefer to have bigger meals. I used to feel guilty about not eating more of our meals together, but we spend SO MUCH time together that it's actually been quite liberating to remove the romanticized narrative of eating together = quality time from our relationship, mostly because we find quality time easily in so many other parts of our day-to-day lives. This also allows us each to really eat whatever we want whenever we want without catering to each other. I also eat alone when I travel.

What do you love best to eat when it's just you?

I don't remember the last time I actually did this, but I've spent many an evening on book tours sitting at the bar at a hotel restaurant eating French fries and drinking a dirty martini and honestly it's one of my favorite ways to spend time by myself. Not sharing French fries is high-quality alone time!

Any hack/tip/strategy you've figured out that makes this easier and more fun. To be clear, the hack can be takeout! This isn't about requiring everyone to cook for themselves, it's about why we struggle to feel like we're worth the bother of feeding well when we're alone.

I think about this a lot in my work as a cookbook author/cooking teacher and I think it's always important to be honest about how much LABOR it is to feed ourselves. And often feeding other people gives us a bit more motivation rather than when it's just ourselves. And that's not to put any pressure on anyone to do more labor for themselves, but hopefully an invitation to treat yourself with the same love you'd treat others. And sometimes that love looks like delegating the labor to someone else (takeout! defrosting something!).

A few practical tips for solo eaters:

I'm not a menu planner, but I am a meal prepper — meaning I think it's nice to make a couple of simple things you can mix-and-match throughout the week. This eliminates the feeling of having to make every meal from scratch every time you eat. Have some stuff waiting for you. A pot of plain rice can become fried rice, the base of a rice bowl, or a bowl of hot rice with butter + soy sauce + an egg. A can of chickpeas drained and mixed with oil, vinegar, salt + pepper can be stored in a container and repurposed into a salad or rice bowl topping / heated with broth + vegetables for a simple soup / mixed with pasta, frozen spinach + feta for a delicious, simple pasta. Etc!
- JOIN ME THIS WEEKEND FOR MY ‘COOK ONCE, EAT MANY TIMES’ CLASS WHEN WE’LL DO A BUNCH OF MEAL PREPPING TOGETHER AND I’LL GIVE YOU A BUNCH OF IDEAS FOR WHAT TO DO WITH EVERYTHING!
If getting through large amounts of produce feels daunting or you don't like eating the same thing over and over, use your supermarket salad bar as your prep cook — for example, instead of buying a whole head of cauliflower if you only want a little bit to add to say a curry or something, you can always fill a container with a handful of chopped cauliflower and call it a day.
The advice I give to everyone including myself: not every meal you eat has to be the best meal you ever had. Liberate yourself from that stress and pressure and embrace the satisfaction of really simple stuff. Often I just want a piece of toast with peanut butter and sliced banana or spaghetti with Rao's tomato sauce. Those are worthy meals!

Is there anything you do to make cooking and/or eating solo work for you? Tell us!

Keep Calm & Cook On

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