therapy "greatest hits"
maybe some of what's helped me might help you?
Hi pals! Okay I know food is what brings most of you here, but in addition to cooking and eating, I think there’s a lot of other stuff we all have in common. “I am large, I contain multitudes” and all that. A big thing we all share is just being a person in tough world. So today, in the reflective spirit I always feel when the year comes to a close, I thought it might be helpful and maybe even a little fun to share some of what I consider the “greatest hits” from my many years of being in therapy.
More on all of that in a moment, but first a reminder that after quite a few weeks of not teaching since I was traveling, I’ll be back on Zoom this Sunday at 2p EST offering a very fun Hanukkah-inspired brunch class! 15% of class proceeds will be going to World Central Kitchen. More on class below:
»»»» SIGN UP HERE / SIGN UP HERE / SIGN UP HERE / SIGN UP HERE !! «««««
All class FAQs and my teaching schedule are right here! Lots of fun classes coming up in 2025! And if you need any last minute holiday gifts, consider this your friendly reminder that my cooking classes make for great gifts! No shipping required! You can purchase gift cards for whatever amount you’d like right here.
You don’t have to pick a specific class(es) to give— your recipient can choose whatever they want.
Gift cards don’t expire!
Gift cards can be applied to upcoming live classes (and there will be a ton more in 2025!) or previously recorded classes in my on-demand library (which has over 100 classes!).
This is a really fun thing to gift a friend or family member who lives far away and then you can do a class together. I know a lot of people who do this and then they eat together afterwards on FaceTime or Zoom and it allows you to do something together even when you’re apart which is just really lovely!!!
All info about my classes including FAQs is right here. These gift cards arrive as custom codes emailed to you (the gift giver) that you can give to your recipient. Want to give them something physical? Here’s a fun thing you can print out, fill out, and give in a card!
Okay, onto my therapy “greatest hits.” For a bit of context, I have been in and out of various forms of therapy since high school. I’ve done individual talk therapy, individual cognitive behavior therapy, EMDR, somatic therapy, couples therapy, group therapy and probably more that I can’t remember. I am married to an extraordinary therapist (and Grace and I talk about our feelings all of the time).
All of these forms of therapy have allowed me to carve out space to process tough stuff, find community support (I LOVE GROUP THERAPY SO MUCH), and just find the tools to strengthen every single relationship in my life, including the one I have with myself.
I think one of the hardest parts about therapy is finding the right fit. Besides word of mouth, the tool I have found most helpful is Inclusive Therapists.
And in the spirit of sharing resources, some of the therapists I have most enjoyed working with include:
Cassandra Lange (only in NY state)
Got someone you’ve loved working with? Someone who has made a difference in your life? Please let us know who they are in the comments (I’m making comments open today to ALL subscribers, not only paid subscribers, in hopes the comment section is a great resource). If the person you work with is specific to a state, please say so.
Okay, without further ado! My list of “greatest hits” I’ve taken away from therapy. Most of these items are written down on sticky notes around my office. I like keeping these thoughts and ideas nearby. Some of these might be obvious to you (if so, great!). Some might not land with you — that’s okay, too. I am sharing this list because maybe some of what's helped me might help you? Maybe one of the questions or phrases I surround myself with might feel supportive for you? I sure hope so.
In no particular order…
Care > why (meaning, sometimes you cannot/don’t have to know why something happened — sometimes the best thing to do is focus on what type of care you need to get through the situation)
Excitement and anxiety can feel identical and it’s worth the pause to figure out which is happening and often it’s both and that is okay
Excitement is beautiful and does not need to be tamed
Instead of judging yourself, maybe ask “why do I feel this way?”
When I worked with Carmen Cool to tackle a lot of body image stuff, her regular refrain whenever I said “I feel bad/upset/angry/sad/etc. about…” was always “of course.” She would say something along the lines of “of course you feel this way, think about the culture you were raised in.” I found this “of course” so helpful that I decided to have it not just be a sticky note, but a more permanent reminder:
Our bodies are meant to change!
There’s no wrong time to ask: “how can I be my body’s ally?”
Sometimes you can just observe, not solve
Gratitude and frustration can coexist
There’s no wrong time to ask: “what kind of relationship do I want with my life?”
There’s also no wrong time to ask: “how do I want to feel versus what do I want to accomplish?” *pay attention to the answer
Connection > reputation
There’s no wrong time to ask “can the metrics be changed here?”
When feeling defensive, you can always say “I know I am feeling really defensive right now”
When feeling defensive, you can always say “can we come back to this once I am feeling less defensive?”
Maybe it’s grief? I mentioned this last one in the newsletter I sent out just after the election, but often when I’m feeling upset about something, there’s grief underneath the upset. I like having the question nearby to remind myself to ask that. Sometimes when I realize that what I’m feeling is actually grief, it helps me just sit in it and honor it.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back with more food next week and every week after that. Thanks for helping me feel this is a comfortable place to share more than just food since I am, and you are, more than just food.
And please don’t forget today is the only time I’ve ever opened comments to everyone — not just paid subscribers — so please chime in if you love your therapist!
xooxoxoox Julia
Great email! Very helpful.
My mother-in-law once told me something that has been very helpful to me. She said: The sole cause of anger is disappointment. I have found that to be truly helpful for getting to whatever is actually bothering me. The cause of that anger.
I’m in Australia so I won’t bother putting therapy reco’s in but what will say . Is a love your non food newsletters as much as your food ones! In opportunity to soak up your food and (non food related) wisdom I am here for it x