I really loved
’s newsletter with 39 pieces of advice that they shared earlier this year when they turned 39.I turned 40 earlier this week (old soul, baby face!). So, inspired by Corinne and brought to you by little things I’ve picked up over the past four decades, here’s my list of 40 pieces of advice. Take or leave any of it.
xoxoox
MONEY STUFF
If you’re a freelancer, remember that what you’re charging/earning will be taxed. You are your own employer, so you need to pay your own taxes.
With ^ in mind, if you’re a freelancer, open a savings account in addition to a checking account. For EVERY SINGLE PAYMENT YOU RECEIVE, put whatever percentage of your income your tax bracket requires into that savings account. Don’t even think about that money. It’s not yours. It belongs to the government. When it comes time to pay your annual/estimated taxes, it will be there waiting for you and you won’t have to scramble.
Hire a professional to do your taxes.
Choose one airline. If you travel frequently, commit to the airline that flies most from the airport you use the most. Get the personal and business credit cards affiliated with that airline. Earn points on every purchase. It especially makes it suck less when you have to spend money on things you really wish you didn’t have to pay for.
HOUSE / BUTCH STUFF
Choose one brand of power tools so you don’t end up with various batteries and chargers that don’t work for anything else you own.
Do not be afraid to ask for help at the hardware store. Shop at the hardware so that you can ask questions!
Know that you can buy screws and other hardware by the single piece. Like if you have a handle that needs just two screws, you can buy just two screws and then you don’t have to worry about storing or using the rest (and bring the handle or whatever it is into the store with you so you can make sure you’re getting the right screws…nothing more annoying than two trips to the hardware store).
If you have a gas grill, buy a second propane tank that you keep filled. This way if (and when) your first tank runs out, you don’t have to go refill it before you can continue grilling.
If you use a riding lawn mower, get a mulching kit. This way the cut grass will go right back onto your lawn and not shoot out to the side or require being bagged. It will just act as mulch.
Always wear long sleeves + pants and ear + eye protection when mowing or weed-whacking.
When storing paint, use a permanent marker to write on the top of the can which room/wall etc. you used the paint for. You can also write the name of the paint (brand/shade/sheen) on the inside of the light switch plate in whatever room you used that paint in.
If you’re lucky enough to own your home, know that the to-do list will never end. It helps to change your goal from getting to the bottom of the list to just figuring out currently needs to go at the very top of the list. This goes for…life, too.
Set calendar reminders for yourself to replace batters in smoke/carbon monoxide alarms and don’t put it off. Just do it.
Keep fire extinguishers accessible in your home and at least one on each floor (and one in the kitchen for sure). Hopefully you never need to use one, but it’s good to have them.
BODY STUFF
Remember that your clothes are there to fit you. You don’t have to change to fit your clothes. If your clothes don’t fit, you might need new clothes, not a different body.
IMHO, being strong > being thin. ALSO: you do not need to be either.
Bodies, like personalities, come in so many shapes and sizes. Yours is yours!
Our bodies are meant to change! Imagine wanting any other part of you or your life to stay the same forever? I would never!
If you’re exhausted all of the time, you might not be eating enough food.
FRIENDSHIP STUFF
You don’t need an excuse to text or call a friend. You can just say hi. You can just say: “I’m thinking of you. What did you have for lunch today??”
You don’t need to do anything out of the ordinary to have fun with your friends. Regular old stuff like grocery shopping can be so fun if you do it with a friend.
Your friends might move far away (or you might). This will be hard at first, but it means your time together is more precious than ever which is a really good thing and will allow you to appreciate your friend(s) so much.
Be as interested in your friends’ kids as you are interested in your friends.
Remember that your friends’ kids aren’t their only interest.
The easiest way to make a friend is a shared activity. If people you know do an activity you’d like to try, ask if you can join. If you think someone you know might like something you like to do, invite them to join. If you want to try something and don’t know anyone who does it, go to the place where people do it and that’s where you’ll find them.
When a friend tells you about something difficult, you can simply commiserate and say “this sucks.” You don’t have to fix it for them. You can ask them if they want help figuring out a solution, but you don’t have to jump to a solution (see: “do you want to be helped, heard or hugged?”). This goes for all relationships, not just friendships (marriage, family, professional, etc.).
RELATIONSHIP / SEX STUFF
When feeling defensive, you can always say: “I know I am feeling really defensive right now.” It helps you and the person you’re being defensive with.
When feeling defensive, you can always say: “can we come back to this once I am feeling less defensive?” It diffuses the whole thing. Not everything has to be dealt with immediately. Sometimes coming back to it is the best. Just don’t NOT come back to it. That’s when things get messy.
Remember that at its best, sex is a playground.
Feedback in sex is not criticism, it’s trust. What could be better (or hotter) than someone telling you exactly what they want and giving it to them? Or trusting someone enough to tell them exactly what you want?
Admitting you’re not sure what you want is an opportunity to figure it out together which can be VERY FUN.
TECHNOLOGY STUFF
If you have an iPhone, a shared photo album is so much easier than sending each other a ton of photos from a trip or whatever. It also makes it easy to go back and look at photos from your favorite trips, occasions, etc.
Turn off all of your notifications. If you’re like me, you’re on your phone all of the time anyway and it’s nice to find out news, emails. etc. when you want to rather than have them constantly assaulting you. It’s okay if you don’t know about everything THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS. You will find out soon enough and, at best, on your own terms.
GENERAL LIFE STUFF
Any and everywhere possible, don’t use numbers to measure your success or worth. Find other metrics!
Framed photos are great gifts, especially in the digital age. I use Framebridge (not sponsored) all of the time and especially love their ‘Giza’ burl wood frame.
If you travel a lot, don’t repack the same toiletry bag over and over. Just buy a second deodorant, toothbrush, comb, bottle of Advil, etc. and keep your it packed. Then all you have to add for a trip is medication if you take it.
Book your annual appointments before you leave the doctor/dentist/dermatologist/gynecologist/etc. It’s much easier to change an appointment than to remember to make a new one.
There’s also no wrong time to ask: “how do I want to feel versus what do I want to accomplish?” *pay attention to the answer
Connection > reputation.
If you are someone who gets anxious at night, it’s helpful to keep a notebook by your bed. Write down the things that are on your mind so you can empty your mind and then revisit everything in the morning. Usually things that felt DIRE will feel a lot less so after you sleep.
A BONUS ONE:
If there’s an opportunity to jump in the water, jump. Even if you just washed your hair.
An extra bonus piece of advice: a kiddie pool filled with ice is a great way to keep drinks cold at your summer party.
List is kick ass👊I especially appreciate your wisdom re: jumping in the water! HBD to you😍
I love that your spellcheck changed battery to batter. That is so chef-specific! I had never noticed how close those two words are and it's (weirdly, I know!) very funny to me 😅